The Idiot Who Stumbled Into Gotham
by Dr. GamesGambian
Summary: Jacob, a 15 year old troublemaker, is dragged into the world of DC. He decides to do the only sane thing to do in a situation like this and become a "superhero". (This story takes place in the New 52 universe.)
1. Where the Heck Am I?

"JAAAACOB!" A teacher screamed while running down the hall.

I, who was also running, took a hard left and ran into another hallway in the school. I had just pulled this awesome prank on a teacher an-

"Aaaaahhh!" I yelled as I tripped over a book that had coinsidently been placed in the middle of the hallway.

I fell flat on my stomach and moaned in pain. The teacher who had been chasing me, Ms. CumbleField, caught up with me with a look of anger, sadness, and I think...constipation? She lifted me up with one arm and still didn't let go even after I was completely standing up.

"Do you have any idea what you did to my hair?!" Her voice boomed through the hallways and even some teachers poked their heads out their classrooms to see what was happening. "It's a DISASTER!"

There's one thing about me that everyone knows, I'm a sarcastic moron and almost everything I say gets me in trouble but even after all the detentions, I keep coming back for more.

"A disaster?! Pf, my dear lady, this is anything but a disaster...it's a work of ART."

"ART?!" Ms. Cumblefield's face was literally about to explode. She gently touched her red hair and gum started to stick on her fingers. She quickly stopped touching her hair and looked back at me. "You little..."

"Ms. CumbleField, I'll take it from here." We both recognized the voice as Principal Sherns and she let go of me. The principal looked at Ms. CumbleField's hair and his jaw dropped. He stood in shock as he examined the gum that was all over her hair, the bald spots that could be seen from a mile away and, my favorite part, the glue in her hair that made it look like she had horns. Get it? Because she's the devil..ah,you don't get it. Principal Sherns took a deep breath and finally said,

"Jacob, come with me to my office. Ms. CumbleField, you have the day off."

"A day?! Do you know how long it will take to get this gunk out of my hair?!"

"Ok, a week."

"A WEEK?!"

"MS. CUMBLEFIELD!"

Ms. CumbkeField gave in and nodded. She walked away in her tacky, green plaid dress and disappeared after she turned a corner.

I chuckled. "Principal, you have to admit, she looked pretty horrifying."

"Mr. Wellington, you are in very deep trouble. Come with me."

I crossed my arms and followed him to the office to get my suspension sheet.

* * *

"YOU WERE EXPELLED!" My Mom said in frustration.

It turns out the principal had had enough with me and he decided expelling me was the best option. Typical for adults.

"Frank, come in here! Jacob was expelled from school!"

My Dad walked into the kitchen with a stern look on his face. He was wearing baggy pants, he had no shirt on and his socks were...green? Anyway, all of his hair fell off but he prefers to say he shaved it off. In all honesty, I hate him. I never loved him and I never will he has always abused me and my Mom. Not that my incidents at school help but still, I hate him.

"What Sharon? I'm watching the game." He scratched his butt and waited for my Mom to answer.

"Jacob has been expelled from school. " She said in such a quiet tone, you couldn't even tell she was ever angry in the 1st place. My Dad looked at me with scorn after hearing what Mom had just said.

"Oh, did he." He left the room and later came back with a bat. "It's time to teach him a lesson, I am SICK and tired of him doing this." He started to walk towards me but my Mom stepped on front of him.

"Stop it. Don't you dare hit my son." My Mom was determined to protect me but for some reason I still felt unsafe.

"Move out the way or I'll have to go through you by force."

That didn't surprise since my Dad has hitten my Mom before but she still didn't show any sign of wavering.

"Fine, I'm moving out." He tossed the bat to the ground and started to leave. "I'm sick of him and I'm sick of you." He left through the front door.

My Mom ran after him but I decided that I needed to give them space. I went to my room and locked my door. Home sweet home. This is the only safe place I actually know. My room was a mess but it was my mess. Comic book were laid everywhere around my room and so were clothe. My bed wasn't made and everything was just simply out of order. I climbed onto my bed and put my pillow over my face. I sighed and threw it across the room.

"Ugh, I'm so bored." I have no idea why I'm talking to myself but then again, I'm thinking to myself. I picked up a batman comic off the floor and started to read it. 5 minutes later, I fell asleep. My comic book covered over my face.

* * *

I woke up, stretching my arms but stop when I noticed I wasn't in my room anymore.

"What the..." It was dark and I was definitely outside. I stood up and noticed I was still wearing my red shirt, khaki shorts and black converses. Two walls were to my left and right so I must be in an alley. I looked behind me and sure enough, it was a dead end. The sound of cars filled the air but there was a road on the other side of the alley so that was expected.

I needed to find help and fast. I began to walk out the alley but stopped when I heard the scream of a woman nearby. A woman wearing a raincoat, also wearing high heels, ran out in front of me. She had brown hair like me and she was an adult. She looked tired and her hair was hangijg over her face. She was breathing heavily but she just pushed past me and ran into the dead end alley.

"Sorry babe, but you can't run from us." A voice said. A random man with a black leather jacket and a black hat on appeared out of the blue with a dagger in his hand. Two other men with black leather jackets followed behind with daggers too but they didn't have hats unlike the other dude. The men had devilish smiles on their faces but when they looked at me, the smiles disappeared.

"Well well well, look at what we have here." The men's' smiles returned on their faces and they began to approach me. I slowly backed away and hit the dead end wall. The woman cowered in a corner but the men weren't focused on her. They were focused on ME.

"I don't suppose we could talk about this right?" The men didn't respond and still approached me. It was worth a try, right? Two of the men held each of my arms and pinned me against the wall.

The man with the hat checked my pockets and shirt but found nothing.

"No money, eh? I find a boy in an alley and he has no money, are you hearing this boys?!"

Both of the men replied with a yes but I could tell they were just saying it because he was the boss.

"Do you know what we do with people with no money?" The man put his dagger to my throat and edged it a bit closer in.

"Um, you give them flowers and candy?" I know...it's almost like I want to die.

The man in the hat chuckled under his breath.

"You're close but how about I show you." Uh oh. I could feel the dagger pressing hard against my skin so I did the only sensible thing to do and I kicked him in the balls. The man dropped his dagger and fell to the ground holding his crotch.

"Boss!" The men yelled for their boss and I took that as an openong to grab the dagger. I threw myself to the ground and they came along with me. I face planted to the ground and realised how bad of an idea this was. The henchmen pulled me up and pinned me against the wall again.

The boss stood up, his legs a little wobbly and he punched me in the stomach. It felt like a train rammed into my gut and I couldn't stand anymore. My legs gave in but I was still standing since the men were holding me up.

The boss grabbed his dagger from the dirty, wet ground and wiped it off with his pants.

"You'll pay for that!" He said while bringing the dagger to my stomach. I closed my eyes and prepared for the worse.

I heard the sound of something metal flying in the air and all of a sudden, the boss screamed, "Ah! It's the bat!"

I opened my eyes and the boss had dropped his dagger but the thing that shocked me was what was in his hand. It was a bat shaped knife?

The boss pulled out a gun and started walking cautiously, looking at the roof tops. In a blink of an eye, a dark figure jumped from the rooftop and the boss shot several times at it. Apparently he missed all of his shots because he was grabbed and dragged to the roof, gunshots still firing.

The other men stopped holding me and they both agreed to make a run for it. Before they could even make it half way, the dark figure came back but this time it was plain to see.

"Wait a minute..dark, fast, scary..you're the Batman! It all makes since now!" I was going to jump into the air with excitement but my stomach still hadn't recovered from the punch.

The two men started to back away but one of them charged at the bat. He must be the stupid of the two. The man threw a punch at the bat but batman stepped to the right and knee kicked the man in the gut. The men stumbled back, clutching his stomach in pain but Batman wasn't finished. Batman ran at him and grabbed his arm. He flipped him onto the ground and by the sound of the cracking bones, he broke his arm too. The man just passed out after that.

While Batman was finishing off that guy, the other henchman pulled out a gun and was aiming right at BATMAN!

"Batman, watch out!" I screamed but Batman looked too late. I ran toward the man, despite my stomach aching miserably and tacked the man down. The gun went off but the bullet shot in a different direction. Batman broke from his daze and finished the guy off by slamming his head onto the ground.

"Wow! That was awesome!"

Batman just dragged grabbed both of the henchmen out the alley and onto the sidewalk. He took out a black cable and tied them together and began to dial something on his arm.

"Umm, Batman?"

After Batman finished his dialing or whatever, he looked at me and said,

"Are you hurt?"

"Uh, no. Bu-"

"Good, then you're fine. You can wait here for the police if you want to."

"Wait what? No, I need to talk to you!"

Batman began to walk to the road and of course, I followed.

"Listen kid, I have things to do. I can't waste my time talking to a kid."

"I'll have you know I'm not a kid...I'm 15..."

Batman grunted and dialed something on his arm. Before I could day anything else, a flash of lights came from the road and I knew almost instantly what he just did. A black car parked near Batman. The top of the car opened and Batman jumped in.

"Wait, I don't have a home!"

"Not my problem."

"I have no money."

"Not my problem."

"I have...a diasease?"

Batman seemed to be getting agitated and the way he looked at me made me skin crawl. "Not. My. Problem. Understand?"

The batmobile's engine roared and the top of the car closed.

"Wait, stop!"

The engine roared louder.

"Stop, we need to talk...Bruce!"

The engine of the car went silent and the top of the car opened. Batman jumped out the car and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. He pinned me against a wall and our faces were literally 1 centimeter apart.

"Who are you and how do you know who I am?" Batman started to crack his neck but his eyes didn't stop looking from mine. "Talk!"

I gulped and took a deep breath. "Take me to the batcave and we'll talk." I know I was asking for a broken leg here but Batman actually dropped me and lead me into the car.

"You have a lot of talking to do, I hope you know that."

I put my head down and sighed, "I know Batman, I know..."


	2. Behind the Glass Wall

After a few minutes of driving and awkward silence, we finally made it to the batcave. I jumped out the car and examined the batcave. Just like in my comics, it was dark, brooding and...Well, dark. Lights came off from the sides of the platform and there wasn't really much walking space so if you have no balance, you would basically fall off and die. Great...

Batman didn't even let me finish looking around because he grabbed me by my arm and led me to a metal examination table.

"Sit." He simply said.

I began to sit on it and wiggled into a comfortable position. Batman started to bring out these wire things and put them on my chest.

"What are thooooose?" I asked.

"Let's just say these will help me tell if you're lying."

I crossed my arms. "You don't trust me?"

Batman looked at me for a dead 5 seconds and went back to strapping the cords on me. After he was finished, he walked over to a machine with keyboards. (No, this machine isn't a computer, I'm not stupid.)

"What is your name?"

"Jacob Wellington." I replied back.

Batman looked at his keyboard machine thingy and said, "Good, you're telling the truth. For your sake, you might want to keep doing that."

After what seemed like hours of question that involved my personal life, Batman finally asked me the QUESTION.

"How did you know who I am?"

"Well you see, it's a long story. I wa-"

"BRUCE!" A voice yelled from in the distance. The voice sounded like a young boy but I couldn't identify him. "DO I PUT THE CREAM ON MY LOWER STOMACH OR MY-"

A boy came out of nowhere and as soon as he saw me, he froze. He had black hair and was wearing khaki shorts and had on a green collared shirt. He had on no shoes or socks and just by looking at him, he seemed older than me.

"Uh, Bruce? Who is this?" The boy said, his confusing tone very clear.

Before Batman could say anything, I decided to speak for myself.

"Hi, my name is Jacob."

"Uh...I'm Tim. Tim D-."

"Drake! You are Tim Drake!" I noticed I said that a bit too excited by the stares I was receiving by Tim. "Sorry, was that weird?"

"A bit..." Tim then shifted his focus to Batman. "Bruce, can you explain this?"

Batman started to type on his keyboard and without looking away said," I'm about to find out."

He then stopped and looked at me, asking me the same question," How do you know who I am?"

I took a deep breath and explained to him everything that happened from me at school to waking up here. I also told him about my world, purposely leaving out the fact that he was a comic.

"So you're telling me that you come from a different world where I'm known to the public?"

I nodded in response.

Batman out his hand to his chin and frantically stroked it. He was no longer typing in the computer but I could tell he knew I was telling the truth. "I see..."

"Woah, wait a minute Bruce." Tim stepped in closer to talk to Batman. "Are you actually considering this?! This is insane and impossible!"

"You're right, it's insane Tim." He then looked at Tim, their eyes locking on to each other. Tim could feel Batman staring down into his very soul. He almost wanted to break the gaze but he couldn't look away. "But it's not impossible."

"If anyone knows more about this than me, it's Martian Manhunter. I'm going to the watchtower and taking the blood sample I took from Jacob with me so it can be analyzed."

Did I just hear that right?! I looked on my right arm and saw a Band-Aid strapped onto the middle of it. "HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT?!"

Batman walked onto a platform near the batcomputer and dialed something on his arm. After that, the platform started to vibrate and lights started to turn on. "Because I'm Batman." And just like that, the light flickered and shone even brighter, making me completely blind. The lights then dimmed down and Batman was nowhere to be seen.

"Hm, that was interesting. I think I'll be on my way…" I started to head to the exit but Tim jumped in front of me, blocking my path.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?!" Tim said. "Did you honestly think I would let you walk out here, knowing that I'm Robin and Bruce is Tim?!"

I cut in saying," You're actually Red Robin but continue…"

"You're insane!" Tim threw his arms in the air in disbelief. "Come with me."

Tim led me the opposite way of the exit, holding my wrist tightly so I wouldn't run away. We walked down a long corridor and made it into a room that had glass cells left and right.

I whistled and said," Wow, I don't remember seeing this in the comics."

Tim turned his head and responded," What?"

"Nevermind." I quickly replied. I had almost forgotten I didn't mention that they were a comic book.

Tim rolled his eyes and continued to take me to who knows where. We finally came face to face to a glass chamber. Inside, there was a bed, a toilet, and a nice little picture of Batman in there. Tim walked up to a computer that stood next to the cell and the glass doors that closed off the cell, opened.

Tim then turned to me, motioning me to get inside.

"Wait, you want me to go inside that cell?!"

"What else am I supposed to do with a person who knows my secrets, who I might add, is a complete stranger?"

He had a point…..

I sighed and walked inside the cell, Tim still holding my wrist until I was completely inside. After he let go, he went back to the computer controlling my cell and shut the glass doors.

"I hope you're starting to like it in there because you'll be in there for a while."

My stomach started to growl loudly and I clenched my stomach. It seemed Tim heard it too because he asked me, "What type of food do you like?"

Did I just hear him correctly? He was asking me what type of food I wanted?! Shrimp, Lobster, Octopus, I could have anything I wanted!

I was about to speak but Tim said," And keep it to a minimum, our chef is a bit…uh, picky…"

"Oooh, Alfred? I'm pretty sure the old man wouldn't mind. He's too nice to say no, right? So just tell him to make me a lobster, a shrimp salad, and, ooh, a bowl of garlic bread sticks."

Tim walked away, his snickers echoing through the wall.

I looked around the room trying to decide on what to do. They could've at least put a tv in here, the disrespect….

I sat on the surprisingly comfortable bed and lied down. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe this wasn't real. I closed my eyes, doubting those theories. This had to be real, unless this was just a _really_ vivid dream. I guess I just have to see when I wake up.

"Zzzzzzzzzz…" I all of a sudden jumped off the bed and realized something. "Dang it. I forgot to ask for a cup of Fanta."

* * *

 **One of the Many Kitchens in the Wayne Manor**

Alfred was tired, exhausted, weary and just ready to drop. His master, Bruce, had given him a workload of stuff to do and he had just finished the last chore. He walked over to the Family Dining room and plopped himself onto a chair. He started imagining the soft and comfortable feeling of his bed and soon began to feel the desire to go to his room.

He was about to get up but he heard soft footsteps walking his way.

("I wonder what the trouble could be this time.") Alfred thought in his head.

Tim walked into the room, a smirk on his face.

"Good afternoon, Master Drake. May I ask what is leaving you in such a happy mood?"

"Oh, it's nothing Alfred." Tim went into the kitchen and grabbed 2 water bottles out of the refrigerator. "It was just a joke." Tim opened one of the water bottles and started to chug it down.

Alfred noticed that he grabbed 2 water bottle and raised his eye brows. "Why Master Drake, what could you have possibly been doing to have made you this thirsty and grab _two_ water bottles?"

Tim stopped drinking and set the, now empty, bottle on the table. "Oh right, I forgot to mention our new prisoner."

"Prisoner?" Alfred arched his brow, still very confused on who Tim was referring to.

"Well, Bruce brought in a boy who somehow knows our secret identities and claims to come from another world. Right now, Bruce is investigating this with the other Justice League members."

"Hm." Alfred said in response. "So are you _just_ giving him a water bottle?"

The smirk that Tim had on his face grew wider as he said," That's where you come in."

Tim explained to Alfred all the things that Jacob wanted, making Alfred in response chuckle.

"Yeah, I know. Pretty ridiculous, huh?"

"My word indeed." Alfred didn't seem too shocked about the request. In fact, he got up and started to make some food.

"Woah, Alfred. Are you actually making this guy lobster?!" Tim was in absolute disbelief but watched as Alfred took out bread, Peanut Butter and- wait.

Alfred took out to slices of bread, slapped Peanut Butter on both slices and stuck them together. He took out a plate and slammed the guy onto it.

"Give him this." Alfred said through his gritted teeth. "I'm going to bed." Alfred turned a corner and left Tim alone in the kitchen.

"Well then." Tim said to himself. "I guess it's time to give this to the prisoner."

* * *

 **Jacob's Cell**

"Soo…hungry…" I said aloud. I hadn't eaten any food since coming here and I swear I'm just about ready to eat the bed.

" **I can help you."** A voice from within the darkness of the halls said.

"Come out and tell me who are you!" I put my face against the glass, squinting my eyes in hopes I would see the strange person talking to me.

" **So be it."** A hooded figure walked out the shadows and soon I was able to tell what it was wearing. The person had on a green boots with red laces, black tights, and a red vest with the iconic symbol of the letter R. The person looked to be about 4'6, without the boots of course.

The figure lowered its hood, revealing its black mask and black hair.

" **I am Robin, cooperate with me and I shall set you free."**

* * *

 **Sooo, what did you guys think of that? Surprised? Still laughing? Ah, just tell me in the comment section...**


End file.
